This is 30.
Today is my birthday, and I'll write if I want to!!
“You know, I cried on my 30th birthday. It was the worst birthday ever. But I’m sure yours will be great!”
I recently went to a new eye doctor, and upon seeing my birthday was about a month away, he filled me in on his experience turning 30. Little did he know I cried on my 20th birthday, so I wasn’t worried. Been there, done that, basically.
Why? I was terrified of leaving my teens. Terrified of leaving the safety blanket of “she’s just a teen.” While watching 13 Going On 30, “Thirty, flirty, and thriving,” felt so far away. I vividly remember my mom urging me to enjoy being young on my 12th birthday, after I had gotten a Coach bag as a gift, and I couldn’t wait to use it. “I’m so GROWN UP,” I kept thinking every time I pulled it out of the dust bag. Back before the bad bronzer and heavy eyeliner, before being so awkward I couldn’t talk to boys, before wearing blazers over formal dresses to Sweet 16s (WHY was corporate clothing such a thing at Forever 21???), and before I had the confidence to really figure out who I was.
I’m grateful I grew out of all those things, except Coach bags are back… and dare I say they’re considered vintage? Truth be told, I’m excited to enter this decade—the 30s club, as others call it. Everyone has said they love their 30s, and I am genuinely grateful to be here, amongst so many people I admire.
I was going to write a list of advice I would give anyone turning 20 right now, but I feel more inclined to give advice to those also navigating leaving their 20s and entering their 30s. I thought I had it all basically figured out at 20, and now, I’m more comfortable with the idea that I’m still learning so much every single day.
So, here’s to 30, a new decade. May we:
Never make ourselves smaller to fit into spaces.
Remember that if it’s not a whole body yes, it’s a no.
Set your boundaries and enforce them. You are the only one who knows what’s best for you.
Remember to put yourself first.
Move your body in exciting ways that feel good, not in ways you think you have to (girl, you know you hate running).
You are not your work. Unplug without feeling guilty. Focus on your own shit without guilt, too.
Embrace the love you want to receive, and keep giving that same love to others.
If you don’t feel someone deserves your energy, don’t give it to them because you think you have to.
Stand tall in who you are and what you do, and be proud of yourself. Even on days you don’t feel like you did “enough…” whatever that means.
Embrace growing older and aging. It’s a gift.
To the version of me that cried on her 20th birthday… look at us now. Look at all we’ve accomplished, how much we’ve grown, and the leaps we took to get where we are now. We discovered we’re pretty good at writing and that having curves isn’t something to be ashamed of. We grew in our empathy and loved deeper and hugged loved ones tighter. We traveled the world, lived in a foreign country, tried new foods, worked for dream companies, built a career and a business, moved out of our hometown, fought for love, and truly, deeply fell in love with all of the versions of us. This birthday is for celebrating the 20s.
As Carrie Bradshaw once said, here’s to turning 30 and being fabulous. Exclamation point!
Happiest of birthdays to you!!!!